WOW!!!!!!! :*)

Yesterday was homecoming and i had th time of my life, this year beats last years homecoming with a whip! I has soooooooooooooooo much fun. 8-11 is not long enough! It was just WOW! I think part of i has to do with Scott.....and Josh......and mike :*D. hahaha. But i must say Scott was Wow, i can't even begin to say...... we were all up on each other and just absolutely loving it! But then he moved onto someone else and so did I, but he still was the best. I never really noticed him before...... well in that way. I still probably wouldn't date him, but lemme just say he is movin' up in my book! That one wierd kid was there, just sort of dancin' by himself. I felt kind of bad but at least he seemed happy. Jose tried to get a dance or two out of me, but i blew him off. O well, maybe now he got the hint- "I'M NOT FUCKING INTERESTED!" like these past two weeks before homecoming he's been all touchy feely with me and it's "uh, i'm not your girlfriend! i probably never will be so ssave yourself the heartache" But, i could never be that mean to someone. I could never say something like that to someone strait to their face. I'd rip myself up about it for months. But he saw me with Scott and i think he got the clue. I should probably give josh and mike some credit for a wonderful evening as well. OKay, Josh- You are a wonderful slow dancer and i love how you're so tall and i'm so short. I think its funny that my head rest in the middle of you chest and my arms just barely reach your neck, but the again i don't think i put them up there, or maybe i did. Anyway, mike, you were my first slow dance ever. You suck. I hope you find your way out of the closet soon. j/k (not about the closet part). In the end I was devesdated to leave and go back home, but all good things come to an end. Until next year......

why so fake?

My grandma is living with us for a little while. For the winter probably, but it get's me, why would you want to spend the winter i michigan? Anyway. She's old. Dosen't do much sleeps a lot. Not that big of an inconveniance, well, at least most of the time. BUt what is inconveniant is how she makes my mom act. My mom loves her very much. Which is cool, but she tries to make herself look good at my expense. She yells and bitches a lot more. Which pisses the shit out of me. And i can't tell her how i feel, because she'll jus yell at me. I hate it. O well, could be worse.
Well, my brother is in college. He works at Taco Bell and Lashish, so i rarely see him. He's He's coming to homecoming(he's taking his now senior girlfriend. Their two year aniversary will be on halloween). I'm glad cuz that way no one'll try to grind me cuz my brother is scary, and people really are afraid of him. About the whole grinding thing. I don't think sexuality and affection should be so public. It should be a very private thing. All my experiences were, and they always will be. I hate walking into school on a monday morning with a sweashirt and blue jeans, not a lick of make up and my hair up and see a whore making out with her manslut boyfriend.... at 7:15 in the morning! That's like my biggest trigger for a pissed off day. Whatever, Akhair Zaman ya ba3di.

The hereafter

I received an email today. It was reminding me of the judgement day. It getting closer. And that makes me scared shitless. I'm a pretty good person, i think. Well, i try. Compared to western culture, i'm very conservative. Compared to the middle east, i'm may be a little sluttish. It's like i'm lost between both worlds. But I'm still scared shitless of the hereafter. I try to follow Islam as much as I can, but it's not just a simple religon that requires 15 minutes a day and a certain holy day of the week, its a whole lifestyle. A lifestyle that clashes severely with american culture. The norms here are considered sins in my faith. It's tough. I try to be strong. Ramadan is coming. This is my chance to repent from the sins i've accumulated throughout the year. Unlike last year, i kinda want to take full advantage of this month it could do me some good. If their's one thing that needs strengthening, its my faith. I may be too much of a liberist to take it to the full extent, but i sure as hell will try. Its just that lately i've been questioning it. A lot. I still believe god is my savior and only he can save me from hell fire. I still fear him. It's just.....I have no flippin clue anymore. All i can do for now is pray for his enlightenment, love and paradise. Paradise. That's when I'll truly be blissful. Whoever reads this, pray for me, and i will for you 2.

bored as fuck

i'm in school at lunch. BOred as hell and tired as hell. There's no one in my lunch i feel like chiliin with. so i'm in the library. I swear i'm turning into my dad- anti-social. Well maybe not.I am in the library with a few of my ghetto friends Their awesome. One of them just asked me to homecoming. I said no. NO akward silence. which is good.

seem's like yesterday

Well, today is september11, 2005. That marks the 4 year aniversary of the attacks. To anyone who is reading this and has lost someone on that day, I offer you deepest sympathy from the bottom of my heart. I can't imagine what that's like. It seems like it happened only yesterday. The image is so vivid in my memory. I still remember the news report that changed everything. It still seems so surreal. Plus the fact that i was standing at the top of the worl trade center a few months before the attacks, makes it that much crazier. Anyway, I have homework. I hate Advanced Algebra, But mr smith isn't as bad this year, maybe its just cuz i'm used to the way he is. Yesterday was our first MYNA ( muslim youth of north america) meeting after we had been on summer vacation. We have a lot of new comers this year which is good. This term seems promising. I think i might get elected Vp this year, which would be great. Anywho, i was out with Katie today. It's been a while since we went out together with sports and debate team and and school work. I'm just glad we got a chance. My mom and brother are at work. Dad's currently in egypt. My grandma is with us for a while though. She's upstairs sleeping. She's been really weak and tired lately. It makes me sad to say it, but i think she almost come to the end of the road. But i think she enjoyed the journey.