• happy Eid-al-adha
• happy new year
• saddam was executed yesterday morning in Iraq
• I got hired as a permenant employee at Yankee
• no resolutions
• i don't think

i just feel so shaky and edgy. Happy, but nervous. sweet, but solemn. somewhat sad with a chill of meloncholy running through me. i want to cry, no reason. just tears when your filled with emotion. Emotion i can't explain. Emotion that i need to put towards someone or something. There's a void. A void so big. Will it ever be filled? I hope. but i hope not. I hope that i will die always looking for something more. I hope what i have is never enough. that way i will always have something to live for. I couldn't imagine what being content would be like? would it bring me inner peace? I think my inner peace comes from knowing that there is always something bigger out there. But what if that's not inner peace? what if it is the source of my eternal curse of being uneasy. What is that is what is keeping me from being able to really, 100 percent relax. Can you ever really do that? probably. I just don't think i'll ever be able to get myself there though. nothing ever seems to fit. When it does, it falls apart so horribly, or it turns so the angle of imperfection is finally revealed. And when it is, its back to square one. Is that it? and if its not, if there's more, is that it?