So, i find it so hard to believe that this is the first post of 2008. i just read the last post and remembered how restless and depressed i had been. thank god now i know that i'll be very happy at Michigan State University. Actually i'm really fucking pumped for msu. this is going to be kick ass! i'm just glad that i can finally move out of the house. The environment with my parents just keeps building in hostitlity. It's very hard for me. I try to detatch myself from it but i feel like i should do something to fix it. The thing is, its just not my problem to fix. Its beyond my reach and influence. I'm just waiting....1 month 29 days and i'm home free. I can finally focus on myself and what I need to do for my own life. I can finally take charge and make decisions that i can live with. I know i've learned from a lot of people's mistakes as what not to do in the future. I've been talking to my brother, and i think he just realized that he has a substance abuse problem. He said that he just went to AA, because he needs support and he needs to get it out of his system. I dont even know what to think, or do or say. Its just that i know he's always had a substance abuse problem, but i dont think he ever admitted it to himself. I guess its good that he acknowledges that he has a problem, but i wish i could be there for him to help him thru it. But i think that if i were there to offer help, i don't think he'd take it. I think it took him moving out to california and fucking up really bad and hitting roch bottom to realize just what he had to do to get his shit together. Anyway, at least i know what i need to do to get my shit together. I know what needs to be done. And I have to do it. I want to go and study, have fun and be a fucking success unlike everyone else in my family. It all just gets to be such a drag. I'll be glad to be leaving the house. I'll miss it all, but i think it'll be healthy. Staying here and trying to study and actually go anywhere would take me absolutely nowhere. I'm glad I won't be at OU. Ha ya, MSU baby :)