The hereafter

I received an email today. It was reminding me of the judgement day. It getting closer. And that makes me scared shitless. I'm a pretty good person, i think. Well, i try. Compared to western culture, i'm very conservative. Compared to the middle east, i'm may be a little sluttish. It's like i'm lost between both worlds. But I'm still scared shitless of the hereafter. I try to follow Islam as much as I can, but it's not just a simple religon that requires 15 minutes a day and a certain holy day of the week, its a whole lifestyle. A lifestyle that clashes severely with american culture. The norms here are considered sins in my faith. It's tough. I try to be strong. Ramadan is coming. This is my chance to repent from the sins i've accumulated throughout the year. Unlike last year, i kinda want to take full advantage of this month it could do me some good. If their's one thing that needs strengthening, its my faith. I may be too much of a liberist to take it to the full extent, but i sure as hell will try. Its just that lately i've been questioning it. A lot. I still believe god is my savior and only he can save me from hell fire. I still fear him. It's just.....I have no flippin clue anymore. All i can do for now is pray for his enlightenment, love and paradise. Paradise. That's when I'll truly be blissful. Whoever reads this, pray for me, and i will for you 2.