That's what I had in mind though.....

Well, I begin this post with a sigh *sigh* Well, I kinda made out with this guy at a party last Friday. He was amazing. So amazing. *sigh* While I was doing it, I figure, no big, it'll be a one time thing and on Monday, we'll just go back to saying hi in the halls and talking on occasion, and maybe have friends with benefits type of thing. Sounds great, no? It sounded great to me. It still does. If you've been reading me for a while, u know that I'm Arab and my parents don't believe in casual dating( let alone friends with benefits). So back to recent events. I come into school on Monday. He sees me in the hall, and his eyes light up instantly. He says hi, I say, b/c that's all there was time for. I see him again near the end of the day and we only get a like 30 seconds to talk. We just asked ea/ other about the party, yadda yadda yadda, and the bell rang, and we had to go. So I see him this morning, and I lightly touch his arm as I pass him ( so he can see me, because he's a foot taller than I, [he's a basketball player] and he doesn't look down when he walks) he turns gives a smile and a wink and by that time I'm gone. BUT O MY GOD. Suddenly I don't feel my legs and I stumble a bit. He is so hot. O my god he really is. Anyway. So school ends and I see him on his way to his locker and I say hey. He starts walking with me and we talk. It was kind of awkward, we didn't have much to talk about. You'd think he might say something like, "so we should go out sometime" or, " give me your number and we'll do what we did on Friday again sometime." But no. I don't know why, but he didn't. That discouraged me. Usually I am not one to date, but for him I would have said yes and it would have been worth it. No luck whatsoever. So he leaves. I make my way to my posse. First order of business, Jose. Jose? Jose where are you? I don't know I think he got lucky(haha). Who do I see next? Steve. "Steve sweetheart I need to ask you something" so I do and he says yes, he would ask a girl out when shehad already made out with him. I think that's because he has the balls. Sadly enough, that's the conclusion I came up with. This guy would ask me out if he had some balls(but, I'm sure his are pretty decent). I mean, even though I would have said no to dating and being BF/GF, still! You think he would have at least asked! I mean if you heard him at the party(which, by the way, we were both totally and completely sober at, there wasn't even alcohol there!) it was great. I was great, he was great. IT WAS GREAT! And I'm good at that type of thing, I know I am. Maybe he has in mind the same thing I did. It'll be one of those unspoken things. We'll hook up again eventually. The door is open whenever we feel like walking through. That was the original plan, and I should stop with the over analysis- it's not a term paper, just a fling.............With a really hot guy................

o yea, please comment.............

well, not much has been happening lately. The Culture show is this week. I'm in it with my friends, but we're not coordinated, so we're going to be busting our asses this week to not look like idiots. What else, i went to this interfaith program at a church on saturday. It was about reuniting the children of Abraham. I thought it was pretty cool. It made me take a good look at myself. It made me realize that i've taken up hate for jews, just because i'm arabic and their jewish, it made me realize that before i start preaching o peace this and peace that, I should rid my heart of hate, and try to be a better person. So that's my new personal goal, to truly be a good person. I started yesterday. A survivor of the Holoucost was invited to our school to tell us of his experience, so i went to see what he had to say. Although it was a little boring, i think i got something accomplished. I think it would have been more influential if he talked about what they did to him rather than how he escaped. Nonetheless, I think i accomplished something towards my goal, and i think that something worth noting.