Choking

you know what i hate, nothing, and that's just it i think i couldhate a lot, but i hate people who hate. I just feel like i don't have any reason good enough to reaaly and wholly hate someone or something. But if i could hate, here's who i'd hate: people. People who hate people just for the fuck of hating people. People who never did shit to them, yet they hate them anyway because they think that it makes themm cooler and more exclusive. And i think that's crap. It pisses me off. I also hate people who try to brag about themselves with stuff that isn't even true, so they can prove themselves worthy to others, yet fail and just manage to make total dipshits out of themselves. It makes me sick. And the worst part of it all right now is that i'm just .....i feel like i'm swimming in shit and there's no way to clean water. Food doesn't taste good, seeing people in school isn't fun, seeing people at work isn't fun, i don't see myself as pretty these days, and i don't care to make that little effort to make all the difference in my appearance, and i don't want to. There's no one i want to impress. I don't have a boyfriend and i'm not looking. Hell i don't even feel lonely, only anto-social. I' m not calling people that i probably should, i'm not contacting people that normally would. Quality school work is no longer produced, College appplication essays(well, just the U of M one) aren't getting done, and the deadline is fast approaching. Fuck, she didn't even give me my letter of reccomendation. See what I mean, I just feel like I'm choking on the life i always iked to live. but now i'm wondering, did i genuinely like it?

I have recently developed a new theory about math. It is satan. It was developed in ancient times as a means of killing time when they had nothing better to do. But today, in modern society, it is used merey as a detterrant by the government. They put realdiculously hard math concepts in the public school curriculum to keep kids bust for 2-3 hours a night doing meaningless homework so they won't watch the news, or follow and actively participate in government and public affairs. The get americans into this habbit at a young age, so that they will carry on this uninformed and clueless xistance for the rest of their lives. This way, with the real subjects of democracy distracted the authority is free to do whatever they want and scandize and kneive, and secretly spy on the citizens controlling every aspect of their world. O the fuckers!