So today is the last day of June. July begins tomorrow and in exactly 18 days, I will be 17 years old. This morning(noon rather):
woke up at 11:44
had falafel for breakfast
It thought it would just be like any other ordinary quiet uneventful summer day. But, as everyone knows, that is never the case.
I wanted to get on the onternet to see what grade i got for the Sociology class i had just completed when my brother pulled the connection from my computer to his laptop. I became discouraged and then dedided to go to the gym (it had been a while). So I go, do my workout get some reading done as well. I'm pulling out of the gym and I as I'm crossing to the other side, Smack. There goes my car that I just got from the shop on thursday! Godammit. So this was my first accident. my fault. my first ticket, my first anything to do with the law. But what i'm pissed about is my car. Totally jacked up because of my carelessness. Did I mention I just picked it up from the shop on thursday? It gets toed to yard until its deliverance to a body shop on monday. My dad picked me up. I don't cry in front of him. I get home and it's shereen in mommy's arms. crying. I was upset. Luckily the woman i hit was very nice. She stayed extremely calm the entire time, and was sad to see how upset I was and such. Anyway, it was already written. The eye of envy is evil and karma's a bitch. Go figure.
Next there is the guy accross the street. I think I came about one more touch from having sex today.... for the first time, and I dont think it would have been my choice. Thank god he had the will power to walk away when he did. After all, he is a 26-year-old teacher. I think it would have sucked if something went down. It would've sucked for me too. But i guess I'm glad nothing happened, but at the same time, I haven't even had a real kiss since October. And I guess that's all I really wanted. Just an amazing kiss.
It's funny, ya know? how you can make a guy go stiff by putting yourself just and inch out there. haha, in return you get a nice 9-10. haha, that's enough.
I don't know what to make of this day I'm not sure what to feel. Sad? rejected?(prob not) happy? deviant? ashamed? relieved? I just dont know.
I just wanted to touch him. Just have him hold me close. But i know he would have wanted sex and that would have been bad. We came so close but.... whatever. I respect and am tankful for what he did. It better for both of us. He called me a few minutes ago, and I unfortunatly told him, that this would not be able to go on. It's hard, but I think one of us to think with the head that's on our shoulders, not the one between our legs.
And the hardest part, he's just sitting there outside, accross the street so close, yet untouchable.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the story of my life.
woke up at 11:44
had falafel for breakfast
It thought it would just be like any other ordinary quiet uneventful summer day. But, as everyone knows, that is never the case.
I wanted to get on the onternet to see what grade i got for the Sociology class i had just completed when my brother pulled the connection from my computer to his laptop. I became discouraged and then dedided to go to the gym (it had been a while). So I go, do my workout get some reading done as well. I'm pulling out of the gym and I as I'm crossing to the other side, Smack. There goes my car that I just got from the shop on thursday! Godammit. So this was my first accident. my fault. my first ticket, my first anything to do with the law. But what i'm pissed about is my car. Totally jacked up because of my carelessness. Did I mention I just picked it up from the shop on thursday? It gets toed to yard until its deliverance to a body shop on monday. My dad picked me up. I don't cry in front of him. I get home and it's shereen in mommy's arms. crying. I was upset. Luckily the woman i hit was very nice. She stayed extremely calm the entire time, and was sad to see how upset I was and such. Anyway, it was already written. The eye of envy is evil and karma's a bitch. Go figure.
Next there is the guy accross the street. I think I came about one more touch from having sex today.... for the first time, and I dont think it would have been my choice. Thank god he had the will power to walk away when he did. After all, he is a 26-year-old teacher. I think it would have sucked if something went down. It would've sucked for me too. But i guess I'm glad nothing happened, but at the same time, I haven't even had a real kiss since October. And I guess that's all I really wanted. Just an amazing kiss.
It's funny, ya know? how you can make a guy go stiff by putting yourself just and inch out there. haha, in return you get a nice 9-10. haha, that's enough.
I don't know what to make of this day I'm not sure what to feel. Sad? rejected?(prob not) happy? deviant? ashamed? relieved? I just dont know.
I just wanted to touch him. Just have him hold me close. But i know he would have wanted sex and that would have been bad. We came so close but.... whatever. I respect and am tankful for what he did. It better for both of us. He called me a few minutes ago, and I unfortunatly told him, that this would not be able to go on. It's hard, but I think one of us to think with the head that's on our shoulders, not the one between our legs.
And the hardest part, he's just sitting there outside, accross the street so close, yet untouchable.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the story of my life.
posted by ~Shro~ at 7:41 PM
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